I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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