u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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