During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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