Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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