My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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