I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize