yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
