Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
