Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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