Whod you bang
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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