I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
