I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
