it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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