I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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