covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He did a backflip because drugs
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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