Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just google imaged poop.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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