I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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