this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
