I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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