so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
