I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
