Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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