My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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