People with herpes should wear stickers.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
