and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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