hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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