if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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