At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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