i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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