South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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