there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
