Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
