You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
