butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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