My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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