Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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