How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
