He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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