Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
