I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
