people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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