Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
