carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
