Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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