Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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