god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
