I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
