I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
