Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
