Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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