i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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