I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
