just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
