they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
