guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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