I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
