btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
