im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
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OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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