I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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