im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
