her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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