i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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