and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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