Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
my poor anus
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
