I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
handjob tips. give me some.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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