Me. At least after what I've been through.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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