He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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