I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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