my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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