fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
