It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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