You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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