he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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