she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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